Writing A Novel Is An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

I've been hitting my deadlines quickly, efficiently and easily but not without a toll. I have waves of self doubt followed by fits of this isn't turning out half as well as I expected which then turns into moments of I'm loving this so far which goes back to why did I think I was good enough to write a novel? I'm also somewhat stuck on my outline, I'm writing chapter three now, but I stopped outlining after three was thought out.


Last night I spent about 20 minutes staring at the blank bullet points fully aware that once I finished writing chapter three, I'd easily be able to wing it from there and think of more points for the later chapters.


I'm also disappointed in the size of my chapters so hopefully that can be added to when I go through editing, or I'll be able to convince myself that there are good books out there that have short chapters and it's nothing to fear.


But I'm seriously starting to doubt my own writing skills which is not good for an English Education major. The way I used to attempt to write my novels is by when the mood strikes, write it. My emotional standpoint on what I'm writing has a huge effect on me liking it and putting so much thought into it, it's anything but bad.


But with Spring Break officially having started for me, I believe I will be writing so much, I may even finish the 50,000 word mark a day early if not more.


I'm currently working on the death scene of one of my favorite characters who started off the story having already been killed. Yeah, it's a flashback/dream sequence that I'm especially fond of. But it's really hard to write it because I'm so attached to him, I find myself tearing up with every intimate and depressing detail of his death. And because I listen to music sometimes while I write, this song came on and I thought it was really appropriate. I hope you are all aware of the series The Hunger Games. This is a song from the movie coming out soon and if you've read the books, this scene is alike in some aspects to where this song is mentioned.

-Amy